Where It Began

Adoption-Informed Deconditioning

This work did not begin as a business idea. It began as survival.

I was adopted as a baby. Later in life, I also placed my firstborn for adoption. I have lived two parts of a three-sided experience — as the child who was separated, and as the mother who made that impossible choice. Both experiences live in my body. Both shaped how I learned to belong, attach, perform, disconnect, and endure.

This page exists to name the roots of my work honestly.

I am not for or against adoption. I am for truth. I am for slowing down long enough to feel what was never given space to be felt — and to understand how early experiences quietly condition the nervous system, identity, and relationships for a lifetime.

​

Adoption, Conditioning & the Body

Adoption is often framed as an event — paperwork signed, a child placed, a family formed. What is rarely spoken about is what happens beneath the story.

Separation happens before language. The body registers it long before the mind can make sense of it. For many adoptees, this early rupture can show up later as:

• Hyper‑independence or people‑pleasing

• A deep fear of abandonment or loss

• Difficulty trusting safety, rest, or ease

• Feeling responsible for other people’s emotions

• A persistent sense of “something is missing” without knowing what

​

These are not personality flaws. They are intelligent survival responses.

Deconditioning is the process of gently unraveling what the body learned it had to become in order to stay connected, safe, or chosen. When adoption is part of the story, deconditioning often means learning how to listen to grief that never had permission to exist.

​

Holding More Than One Truth

Adoption holds complexity.

Love can exist alongside loss. Choice does not erase grief. Providing a better life does not mean nothing was taken.

As a birth parent, I understand the weight, the shame, the silence, and the stories we tell ourselves in order to survive an impossible decision.

As an adoptee, I understand the loyalty binds, the gratitude conditioning, and the unspoken pressure to be “okay.”

My work does not seek to blame or defend. It seeks to make space for what is real — in the body, in the nervous system, and in the lived experience of everyone involved.

​

Who This Work Is For

This perspective may be especially supportive if you are:

• An adoptee sensing that early experiences still shape your relationships, identity, or nervous system

• A birth parent carrying grief that was never acknowledged or integrated

• An adoptive parent wanting to understand adoption beyond preparation manuals and good intentions

• Someone navigating attachment, belonging, or identity wounds rooted in early relational experiences

You do not need to have the right language. You do not need to justify your feelings. The body already knows.

​

How This Weaves Into My Work

Adoption‑informed awareness is not a separate service here — it is a lens.

It informs how I listen, how I guide, and how I hold space in deconditioning and somatic healing sessions. Together, we explore how early conditioning lives in the body and how to create new internal conditions rooted in safety, choice, and self‑trust.

This work moves slowly. It is relational, embodied, and respectful of the nervous system’s timing.

​

Important Boundaries

• I do not speak for all adoptees or birth parents.

• I do not promote or oppose adoption as a system.

• This work is not therapy or crisis support.

What I offer is lived experience, somatic awareness, and a grounded space to meet what has long been unseen.